Free to fly

Recently flying has literally been such a headache for me. I have never really been a fan of flying but lately I am even more loathed to fly. My job generally requires flying all over the globe but I have managed to negotiate that I don’t travel too frequently. People often gasp in disbelief when I tell them that I prefer to NOT jet set all over the globe & buy fabulous fashion samples & see what’s trending in foreign cities. I always realize how blessed I am but blessings often comes with sacrifice & nothing is ever exactly how we would like for it to be….

The pros are often accompanied by cons & we must always try to find the balance in how we view each & every situation so that we remain positive & grounded.

The fact is that I hate being away from home! I also hate airports & luggage lugging & check in counters. I hate boarding gates & removing my laptop at the metal detectors. I hate always making sure I know where my boarding pass is & making sure I have all my bits & pieces on my person. I don’t much fancy standing in boarding lines & lifting hand luggage into overhead compartments that are filled to the brim. I am REALLY not a fan of connecting flights especially at massive airports like Hong Kong international that is the size of a small town. Running from point A to point B with bags in tow, flapping paperwork & customs checkpoints! Sweating when the transit time is just too short & the lines at the customs checkpoints are snaking like the lines at a Justin Bieber concert.

I feel much more relaxed once I am actually on board the plane, baggage stowed, and seatbelt fastened & the air hostess is serving the drinks. I quite like airplane food J

I don’t much fancy the cold air in the cabin or the dropping altitude & rising cabin pressure BUT I do like the buzzing of the engines & I am blessed to be able to move around comfortably & also curl up in the tiniest airplane seats because I have the build of a 13 year old child. I can sleep in the midst of a thunderstorm if I know that I don’t have to ninja jump up to see to a calling child, crying baby or barking dog.

Soaring above the clouds in a big metal bird is not great BUT I am always reminded how absolutely blessed I am to be able to rise into the heavens safely & descend hopefully the same way. When I am far above the clouds, when I am not dosing off due to the low hum of the engines, I am staring out at the sunlit sky amongst the clouds & marveling at the wonder that is life.

That God has given us the ability to build machines that can take us across seas & continents & allow connection with people from all over the world. We have so much freedom to go just where we please if we are by the financial means & explore the sites & sounds of the vast expanse of land that we call our home. That we are able to meet with people from different cultures, religions & ethnicities.

And then, with the addition of social media, we are able to maintain those connections & stay updated with what our new friends are doing a million miles away across the globe.

How absolutely phenomenal!

My husband often complains & tells me that he would love to go travelling & see the world. He has never in his 38 years left South African soil & his heart yearns to explore other countries & continents.

Maybe someday we will be by the means to be able to do this together. Travel across the globe, experience travel mania together! Share the adventures of frequent flyers & drink in the sights & sounds of the globe. Let’s just put that out there! Universe, are you listening?

In the mean time, I will continue to do my little business trips when I need to. Soar, cruise & descend & connect from flight A to flight B.

Each time I come home & the pilot announces that we are about to descend & informs us what the temperature is on the ground with the window blinds open I stare out at the breathtaking sight before me. The plane side lunges gently across Table Bay & the Atlantic seaboard, the song “Welcome to Cape Town” always plays in my head.  I am so grateful to be back in the city I call home. To see the expanse of blue ocean before me, the mountain to the side & the lush green Mother city nestled in between I say Amen. Thanking God for bringing me back safely to my family & the place I know & love.

How blessed I am. Just a colored girly from the Cape Flats making a mark on the big wide world…. A human being with a mission & a purpose & the freedom to fly…..

Distracted

This morning I am feeling intensely distracted. I find myself trolling the Facebook pages of self help & growth guru's for inspirational messages daily. I save them in the hope of referencing them in moments of weakness & passing them on to friends that may also be caught up in the rat race & become distracted.

I understand that I am on a journey, that the journey simply cannot be an easy one....

That NOTHING in life is simple & that sometimes it is but even then we complicate things in our confused & lost human way. That we try to control things that are beyond our reach, understanding or ability. That we swim against the current sometimes in the hope of changing things to be more the way that we feel they should be. That we attempt to shift the future by redirecting singular moments in time to cause paradigm shifts in future moments. That we emotionally exhaust ourselves by over thinking situations & scenarios. That we cause permanent scarring to our emotional selves by taking other peoples comments, baggage, fears, anxieties, dreams, issues on board alongside our own. That we pray for God to help us carry the load but then half way through grab it back & try to carry it ourselves!

And then at the end of it all we are exhausted & pass out at the sideline; often too tired to even think straight & too emotionally drained to lift our heads to see the end of the road or the light beckoning at the exit of the dark tunnel we find ourselves in.

Distractions? I am sitting here thinking that maybe it is just that. Distractions! I have been on such a journey over the last few weeks. I have been questioning whether this whole consciousness thing is just me over analyzing every moment, every thought, every 'sign'. Maybe its just about being conscious, drinking in the things that speak to me, taking them on board to ponder over them for a moment but then moving on to be present in the next moment without letting the previous thought, realization or situation influence the next?

Recognizing & being grateful for the blessings. searching them out, embracing them & focusing on that rather than trying to constantly look ahead & plan the outcome of things that are FAR BEYOND our control. Believing that all will be as it must be. Working hard BUT not pushing to breaking point your own fragile soul that is being pushed, pulled, fed, directed, re-directed multiple times in one day. Messages from God, planned/ intentional or unplanned/ unintentional messages from other people, subliminal messages from the media, social media.... Friends offering advice, parents offering directions, partners offering support, counselling, therapy, coaching......
The list is absolutely endless & then at the end of the day we are so bombarded by all the communication that we cannot see the wood for the trees.

No time to meditate, rest or rejuvenate. Jobs, kids & spouses to attend to. Some of us with extra responsibilities of ailing parents or struggling siblings to support.... we remain trapped on the hamster wheel running ourselves to breaking point & unable to stop, reassess & remedy our situation.

What is the answer? I am unsure.....

On this journey I am constantly questioning. A wise woman said to me a couple of weeks ago that 'questioning' is a sign that I am already breaking through the barriers that may have been created by forces to blind or sidetrack me. So engrossed with every aspect, the mind becomes cluttered & thinking becomes unclear. Distracted by everyday stuff that is actually outside of your control you lose focus spending energy planning strategies & responses for situations that you play out in your mind which may or may never come to pass. Often, when you are imagining those situations, are you not already fabricating them & weaving them into reality by casting them into the universe for forces to grab hold of & use against you?

Think positive, Give it to God, Trust life, Trust yourself, Trust the good in people, Dream it into reality.... & it will be as it must be & it will be good? Is that what we need to take away & focus on? Today I am tired..... today I am exhausted to the point of breaking down in a teary mess & screaming at the world to go away & leave me alone. I have probably created this situation myself by trying to control it.

and so as I end off this post this morning, my 2 monkeys are asleep & dreaming probably of the boundless happiness that they would love to share with me & each other tomorrow morning at 6 am, my spouse is on a business trip & resting peacefully I hope in a hotel in Bloem & I am signing off & saying:

"Today I will be grateful for what opportunities I HAVE been afforded, I will revel in the simple joys that God has bestowed on me, I will continue to attempt to spread joy, peace & light & NOT expect anything in return, I will visualize my life as I think it should be & TRUST that God will give me NOT what I want but what I NEED. I will believe in myself & speak up when I am feeling hurt, rejected, abused. I will not look to the bright light at the end of the tunnel but bask in the tiny lights that glint all around me at every point during my day. I pondered whether I should say TRY rather than WILL & realized that WILL is the only way to create the thought pattern as it should be & not allow it to possibly become something else. I WILL be present in every moment & I WILL not be DISTRACTED."

Much love
Lynne

John Legend all of me tour

Last week we went to the Grand West Arena to see John Legend live in concert. It has been such a long time since we have had the spare money, opportunity or the time....

It was fantastic & enlightening! I think what was most profound about the experience was that I sat there completely consciously drinking in every aspect of the show & it was the most present I have been in a long time. Besides focusing on the fact that the Arena was packed with all ages & color of people, the actual talent of this artist was refreshing. The lyrics were good, the music arrangement was brilliant, every note, high & low was well shaded, rounded & enunciated. His voice is pure velvet.... and in some ways the live performance was even better than the studio representation which we are accustomed to.

 Performance is not the right word to use because it was not that. It was NOT a show of lights & background dancers gyrating to draw your senses in all directions. It was 2 hours of acoustic brilliance that was just so honest; sensual & inspiring.

He started off by seducing the crowd with 1 or 2 of his hits & then proceeded to give us some insight into where he actually started out & how he had struggled for many years to make it. The quote he shared that stuck with me was: "Everyone has a dream.... and dreams certainly can come true; sometimes they just take a detour..." He then continued telling us about moving to New York city from Ohio & playing in tiny backstreet bar. He recorded his first demo in 1998 & it took him almost 15 years by my calculation to actually make it.....

This man is FRIGHTENINGLY talented... Every note in its place, every shadow perfectly positioned, every word well rounded & he is handsome to boot. Most artists don't even sound like themselves live on stage, never mind being better than their studio tracks.

But even more frightening for me was the realization that this man is actually just an ordinary human being with an extraordinary voice bestowed to him as a gift from God. His gift back to God as a thanks is to provide people like myself with sounds that are designed to soothe the soul; motivate, & propel listeners to another time frame where they are able to escape from their sometimes mundane existences & just be free.....

How much guts, drive, motivation & determination must it not have taken for him to move to the big apple & attempt to establish a career much like every other artist dreams of.... how many more hopefuls are there with a larger than life dream > TOO many to count I would guess.....

He worked consistently doing backing vocals for up & coming artists. Lauren Hill, Kanye West, Alicia Keys to name a few..... & then finally he signed a record deal with the same record company that had turned him down previously. Pure perseverance.
And I am sure there were times when he thought it would never happen, times where he said that everything was okay but he wasn't actually sure where the next meal ticket was coming from. But he survived & now he tells the tale of how he beat the odds & achieved what he dreamed of so many years before whilst singing to his grandmother playing the church organ.

John Legend became just that..... a legend but not without a struggle & certainly not without making a decision to keep at it when he was knocked down.

Interestingly enough, in the journey of our lives, there are many times when all of us are at a crossroads because of what has happened to us & we need to make a call about which way next. When we fall down or we struggle or we stumble, we lose faith & we then have to make a call to give up or go on trying."We just ordinary people, We don't know which way to go..."
We as ordinary people have so little faith in ourselves & our ability to rise up against the odds & beat the system. Life gives us a beating & we run in the other direction sometimes for the longest time before we come back fighting. Some of us never go back... to the original fight out of fear of failing again.

"This ain't a movie no, No fairy tale conclusion y'all, It get's more confusing everyday. Sometimes its heaven sent, Then we head back to hell again..."

Life is NOT easy, it is not simple & it certainly is not a fairy tale. Life is challenging & it takes a clear head, faith, prayer & persistence to be able to stay on top of the rise & fall. I have come to believe in miracles, I have experienced faith carry me through the toughest trials, I have felt God's presence & literally felt him move in situations that I could not have created on my own.

John Legend had faith, he grew up believing & God saw him through. Consciously & faithfully working hard towards your dream with a prayer in your heart will get you to where you need to be. John Legend is proof of that.... & so am I.

finally free to fly

Today i start the journey of capturing my thoughts so that they are forever written for myself & the world to see.

It is more than 10 years since I've really used my passion for the written word again to cast my thoughts into literary reality. Its late.... I am tired but I am so excited to FINALLY be embarking on this journey.

Am I afraid? Of course I am!
To bare your soul, your thoughts, dreams, fears, realizations is such a daunting prospect BUT I also realize that it is time. It is in this realization that I now place my anxieties & trust that all will be as it should because I am actually NOT in control.

For the longest time I have felt the need to share with the universe & today I make that need a truth. So although its a scary prospect, it is also so unbelievably empowering & emancipating.

I consciously started a journey at the onset of  this year, I had NO IDEA where it would lead me & initially I thought that my time had not yet come. The first sign that I was already on the path came in the form of a beautiful large butterfly that flew in & settled comfortably in my home....

she stayed for the longest time.....& so it was the start of my adventure.

I am finally free to fly towards the light that has been calling me. It is finally my time to discover how wonderfully delightful life can really be.